Well, I didn’t expect the past several posts to be a series of blogs, but that is what ended up happening.
It has been awhile since I have written, but we were in the garden, we were carrying the cross, His sacrifice where His blood was shed, but now there is the resurrection.
A little over a month ago my daughter and I went to visit my parents in Florida. During that trip I learned that my daughter is fearless. Flat. Out. Fearless. She wanted to go into the pool, and walk in the water with no floaty and no life vest (did I mention she just turned 2 in November?)… and no one holding her (this may or may not have resulted in people staring wondering what kind of mom I am, even though I was right there. Like right there. and it also may or may not have resulted in a few tears on her part), but she would walk into the water all the way up to her chin, like there is no danger. And no she can not swim.
And I’m all like can’t you have a little fear? Like just a little? Like enough fear to know that there are dangers in the world? Because, there were times when I didn’t say Come. And she tried to go anyway. Now, I KNOW that Peter walked on water when Jesus said Come, but I also KNOW my daughter wouldn’t be walking on water as she wanted to walk into water that was above her head.
Trust. Believe. Have Faith.
So here we go. There are times when God doesn’t say Come. And if He doesn’t say come, go, yes, we need to be obedient, because He knows what’s best.
We need to trust when He says no, and we need to trust when He is silent. But we also need to trust Him when He says Trust. Believe. Have Faith.
So I am going to pose a question that I really want you to consider before you continue to read. Where are you not fully trusting Him? In what ways are you not believing that He is enough to fulfill your every need?
If you have been following my blog for awhile, you know that I have a very deep fear of flying. Like as deep as the water that would have been above Olivia’s head. It is a fear that brings me to the point of flat out panic that can take over any peace I could carry if I don’t “manage” it properly.
So for the past few years, I have “managed” how to fly without panics or anxiety. And I mean manage by a lot prayer… and by anxiety medication. Please hear what I am not saying. I am not saying that anxiety medication is bad, because there would have been times where I wouldn’t get to where I needed to go without it. It is not bad however, UNLESS you come to the point where He says You’re not trusting Me, or It is time to let go and trust Me with this.
Right after my brother booked my flights to Florida for me, I began to have anxiety. I mean, I could barely handle myself on a flight? How was I going to handle myself AND Olivia? I went to lunch with a couple women and one of the women said “Isn’t it amazing all that God has done?” That question hit me kind of hard. And all I could think was Yeah, I have seen God do all of these amazing things, yet I don’t have enough faith to get on a flight without anxiety medication.
Where is He asking you to step out in faith?
I have to be honest, there are a few things that can make me cry really fast, and one of them is when I am confronted with my lack of faith. And here I was, face to face with my lack of faith, and yes there were tears.
I knew what God wanted me to do. I told my husband, and he said No way, not with Olivia with you. But I knew what God was asking. Get on the flight with no anxiety medication. And that meant fully trusting in Him, and that meant leaving myself open to the possibility of having a panic attack when I needed to take care of my daughter. This wrestling with my faith lasted until the next day when I read the story of Lazarus. You can find it in John 11, but here is the part of the story that got to me… Lazarus has been dead for 4 days. Mary is saying Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died! Others are saying Couldn’t he who opened the blind man’s eyes also have kept this man from dying?
If…
But it was really one question that Jesus asked that was like a dagger to my heart.
Didn’t I tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?
Did you catch that? If you believed you would see the glory of God.
Let me say this as simply as I can… seeing the glory of God is conditional on believing. It is conditional on faith. It is conditional on trust. So I ask again, where are you not fully trusting Him? In what areas of your life are you still holding on to as He saying Let go and trust me?
I only told one person besides my husband that I was getting on the flight with no meds, because honestly I felt like a crazy person for even thinking it, nevermind actually doing it. And God was so good in giving me the peace that can only come from having faith and trusting in Him.
I cried when I went to bed that night, because I was so overcome by who He is. He is so good, He is so faithful, and so willing to call us out of the grave so His glory can be seen. And I bet that was Mary and Martha’s reaction when Lazarus came walking out of his grave…
Didn’t I tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?
Jesus assured Martha that her brother would rise again, and that He is the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in Him, even if he dies, will live.
The resurrection was never about Lazarus living, it was about Jesus being glorified through it. So beautiful one, where do you need to fully put your trust in Him? What in your life seems dead, but He is saying Didn’t I tell you that if you believe…?
What grave is He calling you out of saying Come, Trust Me, Believe?
When your resurrection comes, when you walk out of the grave as you trust Him, may it be about Him, and may it point people to Jesus.
