Earlier this week I got a call from Olivia’s school. Okay, let me be honest, I got 4 calls from her school within 20 minutes, and I didn’t answer because I was in the grocery store and didn’t hear my phone ring. The school had run out of diapers, and she had a massive blow out, that got all over her, and she was now in other clothes, with no diaper on. And that is just a time bomb ready to go off at any second.
It is really bad when the teachers are like You may want to give her a bath, we cleaned the best we could, but her blow out got all over her.
So I went to pick her up a little early from school, and took her home to clean her up and nap. But let me tell you what this did. It made me feel like I was not enough. I felt like a terrible mom, because my sweet daughter is probably the only kid in the class that isn’t potty trained, and that I was in a way a failure because I couldn’t potty train my kid before going to school this summer. And the result of my weakness is that they have to deal with massive blow outs.
Speaking of weaknesses…
What is your biggest weakness? Or maybe your greatest seeming failure, or unconfessed sin right now. Name it. I can tell you my most dreaded one. I won’t, but I will tell you that it is the weakness that is pointed out to me the most, the weakness that I have come the farthest in, and the weakness that I have the farthest to grow in.
It is the weakness that causes me the most insecurity, and makes me feel like a failure. It is the weakness that makes me want to hide under a rock, because of the risk of it coming out and being seen. And second to my lack of faith, it is the weakness that brings me to the most tears. In a way it is the thorn in my side.
This is the weakness that brought me to a sobbing mess last week, because I couldn’t handle the weight of the burden that this had become.
“We have obtained access through Him by faith, into this grace in which we stand.” Romans 5:2
I have been reading the book of Romans over the past few weeks, and been overwhelmed (in a good way), at the expression of His grace. I was a mess in my weaknesses, my flaws, my sin, whatever you want to call it.
And I was such a mess that I decided to make a list all of my weaknesses, flaws, and sin.
I think it is funny that the word “law” takes up the majority of the word “flaw”. And let me tell you what Romans 5 says about the law. That it was put into place to magnify our trespasses. Our flaws. Our sin. Our weaknesses. All the ways we will never measure up.
Now you may be asking yourself the same question that I quickly did. Why would a loving God put something into place that would magnify the places that we significantly fall short?
Any guesses? Well thankfully Romans tells us more…
Because we have been declared righteous by faith. Declared. Pronounced. Stated. I am sorry, but does that give anyone else chills? The God of the universe declares me righteous by faith! Not by anything I have done, because I would fall short every. single. time. But by faith. And by that faith, we have peace through Jesus Christ.
This is the gift of God.
So, I said above that I made a list of all of my “stuff”, but you may be wondering what did I do with that list?
Well let me first say that the weight of the list was crushing. I must have felt like the woman who wept at the feet of Jesus. She wet His feet with her tears, and wiped them with her hair. I knew it was all too much for me.
And let me add a quick side note and say that you should not make a list of all of your “stuff” unless you are going to do what I did next.
I confessed it. I gave it to God. Because, this is the weight He carried for me. He gave us the law, so that His love would be seen as greater. And He died to carry the heaviness of our sin, that we were never meant to carry.
By one man sin entered the world, and while we were still sinners (again, while we were still sinners), He proved His love for us by dying on the cross. We didn’t do anything. I didn’t do anything. We couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t do anything. And that is the point. Our works will never be enough. No matter how good we are, we will never be good enough. But grace. And my weaknesses will never outweigh His grace. Our transgressions will never be greater than His love. Sin will never triumph over His sacrifice.
“I will never out-sin the grace of God”- Heather Hart
So, here is my question for you. Does your weakness lead you to the cross or to the grave?
As I was laying down my weaknesses, it felt pretty painful. Honestly it felt in a way that my sin was nailing me to a cross. But then I felt peace. And He replaced my unrest, with His freedom. What a good God. Yes, our sin had separated us from God, and our weaknesses can seem like more than we can handle (because they are), but Jesus was still there on the cross saying It is finished.
That is the gift of God. It is the gift that is for all of us who believe.
Yes, I believe.
“But the gift is not like the tresspass.” Romans 5:15
As I have been reading Romans, it has seemed like I have gone back to the basics. This is all truth that I know. But this is all truth that should increase my faith in Him every day. Yes, I am still a sinner. But, how much greater is His grace.
Romans 5 ends with this. “The law was added so that the trespass might increase. But where sin was increased, grace increased all the more, so that as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”
The gift is not like the trespass (Romans 5:15). No, His grace is not like the sin. His grace is a provision. And being made right with God through Jesus is the gift that set us free from the chains of our sin, the weight of our weaknesses.
If you are like me your weaknesses, and your sin make you uncomfortable. Like really uncomfortable to the point of grief. Take it. Take your weaknesses, your flaws, take your sin. Name them, name all of them, especially the hard ones, and then lay it at the foot of the cross, and receive the gift of His grace.
And then, you will experience freedom.