Last week I talked about a healing service that I had gone to, and how I was terrified to fall over when the priest blessed me. That time I didn’t fall over, but I noted that there was another time that I did. I wanted to share that with you today, because (although it is tough to admit) although God offered me so much during that first healing service, I didn’t act like the new person that I had felt like.
“You tell people what they want to hear”
So after that first healing service, although I knew God had healed me and lifted the burdens I was carrying I went away and lived my life like I had previously. I didn’t live the new life He so graciously had opened my eyes to… a life of freedom. I pretended I was good with God, but I wasn’t. I still lived a slave to my worldly desires. It was about 6 months later that my parents asked me to go to another healing service. The first one went to well that I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to go again, and hey, I was good with God now so why not go and get blessed right? So I sat in the pews acting like everything was great and went through the motions of singing the songs, reciting the prayers, and then going to be blessed. The priest looks at me and says “You tell people what they want to hear”. He said a lot of other stuff too, and I was extremely offended by what he said. He didn’t know me. He knew nothing about me. Who was he to try to call me out like that? So he did his blessing, and kept blessing me til I fell over. He also threw some holy water on me (yeah, that just shows you the state my heart was in). At the time I was a bit angry at him for saying things that I felt were offensive, but now that I look back the priest was right. He was right about everything. I was putting on a show for God, and the God who knows our hearts saw right past my act.
After this service was when I began to feel like I was merely existing and not truly living. I remember just driving around town and just crying because I was feeling like this. It was just a week or so later that I walked into the doors of a church because I didn’t know where else to go to find what I knew I was looking for. I will tell you, it has been about 8 years and there is nothing like following Jesus. There is nothing like knowing Jesus. There is nothing like being in His presence, and following the path that He lays before me. I will tell you there are times that I still struggle with submitting certain things to Him. Sometimes it may be struggling putting my trust in Him. Other times it may be not wanting to be obedient and to do things your own way, and then there may be times (like with this post) that I don’t want to share in how He has worked in my life.
Beautiful one, let me tell you that this falling over thing, had nothing to do with actually falling over. It had everything to do with living my life for Him. It had everything to do with being obedient to Him and following the path He has before me. It had everything to do with Him wanting me to submit fully to Him, and not for my own pride in my burdens being lifted, but for Him who lifted them. It had everything to do with getting to know the
God who sent His son Jesus from heaven to earth to die for my sins, and rise from the dead so that I can life the beautiful new life that He had set out before me. It had everything to do with getting to know the beautiful life that Jesus lead, that shows us God’s heart for His people. It had everything to do with being in awe of how wonderful He is, and seeing the power in His name.
But He gives us more grace. This is why it says: “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
James 4: 6-7
So submit to the beautiful name of Jesus. Give your life to the wonderful name of Jesus. Fall at the feet of the powerful name of Jesus who allows us to truly LIVE.