
Mike is usually the one who is on top of things, especially when it comes to remembering dates. Do you know what today is? is a question he asks a lot and the same question that I don’t know the answer to a lot! He is usually the first to say Happy Anniversary, and will usually be proud to be the first to say Happy Birthday to me in person and then happily help me get ready for the day. Yesterday was a different story. I woke up to my husband tapping me on the shoulder way too early saying Charlie is awake. We spent some time cuddling as a family watching an episode of Chuggington, and gradually began to do our morning routine of showers and getting ready for the day. No happy birthday from my husband yet. I was eating breakfast with Charlie as he said goodbye to Charlie, and went to walk out the door, where the balloon was floating from dinner last night, the balloon that said happy birthday. Are you going to say goodbye to me? He responded, oh I forgot. I couldn’t help but think that he had forgotten to say something else as well. I bounced back and forth with the thoughts of I can’t believe he didn’t even say happy birthday to me and why do I even care that my husband didn’t say happy birthday to me? It’s just another day. He texted me about an hour later and again no mention of my birthday. I have to admit that I was a little crushed that my husband would forget my birthday. I kept trying to remind myself that it was just another day, it wasn’t a big deal as birthdays are just superficial anyway. On my way to work he finally said he was having a weird day almost walking out the door without saying goodbye to me, and forgetting to say happy birthday and that he hoped my birthday was a great day. Phew he finally remembered! I still couldn’t shake that feeling of being forgotten. I am sure you can all relate to the feeling of being forgotten. I just wanted my husband to remember me, and I also wanted cake… chocolate cake to be exact!
Well the day went on and after lunch my boss disappeared. She was gone for quite a while, and me and my other co-worker couldn’t figure out where she had gone for so long. She snuck back in with cupcakes (yup and there were chocolate ones in there!) and the card that the office signed for me that was supposed to be given to me last week, but they ended up saving it for this week. This made my heart soar. There is a God who knows the desires of my heart and loves to lavish His love, and is eager to let me know that I am not forgotten.
Over the past few weeks, God has not been shy in providing me with the desires of my heart, even the ones that I have not spoken. I can tell you story after story that has left me thinking What?!?! God has been showing up and showing off!
Trust in the LORD and do good; Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:3-4
Over time God has not been shy is providing people the desires of their heart either. I think of the life of Hannah. She felt God neglected her by not giving her a son. She cried inconsolably before Him. God gave her the desires of her heart and she conceived a son. She dedicated her son’s life to God, and worshiped Him for hearing her prayer and giving her what she asked. Although she may have felt neglected or in other words forgotten, God knew.
I have been thinking a lot about why God would choose to lavish His love on me? There are people starving in Africa, yet He still provides to me the small desires of my heart. Why? It doesn’t really make sense. I can only believe that if you are a child of God, it doesn’t matter where you live, it doesn’t matter what your circumstances are, He is still God. He loves His children the same, and He loves us not only because that is who He is but because He wants His love to be known as well.He wants us to know that He cares about us so much and knows us so well down to the smallest desire of our heart. He wants us to know that we are not forgotten.
How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
They cannot be numbered!
I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,you are still with me
Psalm 139:17-18
Beautiful one, you may be thinking that God has forgotten you, neglected you, and has not heard your deep cries. He wants you to know that He who created you could never forget you. You mean more to Him than all of the stars in the sky. His thoughts about you are countless. He is the One who will provide for you the desires of your heart, so that you can know you are not forgotten, so you can feel His love, and so that He will be known.
Now before I end, let me redeem my husband. He is not perfect, but he would never purposely forget my birthday. After talking with him about the situation, he noted that he didn’t really feel right this morning, and on top of forgetting my birthday he drove past his work exit twice and when he went to get gas he couldn’t figure out why his card kept getting declined when he knew we had enough money in the account. It would have helped if he had used the debit card and not our medical flex card. As the day went on he said he began to feel more like himself and bought me a small cake that we shared as a family after dinner, and enjoyed listening to our son sing me happy birthday! It was a sweet moment and a great way to spend time together as a family before Charlie went to bed. He also got me a card, and wrote in it encouraging words which is a big deal because he hates cards but will get them for me because he knows that words of encouragement are my love language. In my book, my husband totally won today and God was not shy in revealing His love either! He will never be shy in revealing His love for you as you persevere in trusting in Him.
This is a beautiful reflection on the emotional tug of war that can sometimes hit you sideways – and how the Lord’s tender mercies to us are inexplicable! Another wonderful passage that assures us of His incredible compassion for each of us is in Psalm 56:
You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book.
Amazing yet again, the time, effort, editing are helping your readers! Wow we all have similar struggles and doubts, we need to share and be open