Waiting rooms are the worst. They have the unique ability to actively suck the life out of you even though you are doing nothing but sitting and waiting. The TV options are usually limited and mindless. And if you must go to the DMV, you feel as if you will never escape the dull confines of the waiting room.
As a society, we are not patient. We live in an instant gratification world. Out of toilet paper? You can order some on Amazon and have it delivered that day. Hungry but don’t feel like cooking? You can order online (or call it in like us old folks do) and have it delivered to your house in 30 minutes. Any time we have to wait more than 5 minutes, we get impatient and wonder what the hold up is.
Waiting feels like…
Waiting on the Lord can sometimes feel like a step back, especially after a long period of exciting growth. For me, 2017 and the first half of 2018 held amazing growth spiritually. Most of that progress came out of my obedience – responding to opportunities God put in front of me and trusting Him even if it felt scary. I have been continually pulled out of my comfort zone, which for an introvert like me can be utterly paralyzing. God blessed me more than I can imagine each time I chose obedience, and He slowly but surely has been building confidence IN HIM in me.
It was thrilling to feel the growth happening. I became expectant because I felt like God was preparing and leading me into my next phase of life. And then came the quiet. The last half of 2018 and the first half of 2019 felt like the quietest, most boring waiting room. After a year and a half of growing and opportunities, I suddenly was asked to wait. And the waiting felt like a step back.
Psalm 130:5-6
I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits,
and in His word I put my hope.
I wait for the Lord,
more than the watchmen wait for the morning,
more than the watchmen wait for the morning.
I found Psalm 130 last January when I had started to feel frustrated and impatient for what was next. We often find verses that mean one thing in the moment we discover them and something else entirely a little ways down the road. Last January, I clung to the expectancy these verses evoke – waiting for God’s leading like a kid waiting for Christmas morning. What I didn’t see in that moment was a phrase in the middle of that expectancy – “in His word I put my hope.”
God’s word – it’s SO important. It not only gives us a roadmap to loving others, but it also reveals God’s nature and His promises over our lives. Studying scripture was not part of my daily routine. Sure, I went to church most Sundays, and my community group would discuss different parts of scripture within the context of the sermons. What I’ve learned is that’s not nearly enough. We need to dive into the word – read it, study it, reflect upon it, make it a daily part of our lives, LIVE it. KNOW it.
Be still, and know.
Psalm 46:10
He says, ‘Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.’
Psalm 46:10 isn’t about sitting back with our feet up, waiting for God to speak to us. He gives us two commands in that verse – be still and KNOW. The only way to know things is to learn them, and learning is an action. It is a conscious decision to spend time reading and researching and retaining. The more we get to know God, the more we get to know ourselves and more importantly, the purpose that God has designed for our lives.
Question:
When your car breaks down, do you just sit on the side of the road and wait for someone to help you? No. If it’s a flat tire and you know how to change a tire, you get out of the car and get to work. If it’s engine trouble, you call AAA or roadside assistance or a tow truck to bring your car to a mechanic to get it fixed. Whether it’s changing a tire or making a phone call, we take action. The same goes for waiting on the Lord. We don’t sit back and wait for God to speak truth to us. We open the Bible and get to work.
2019 tested me and my faith in ways I never could have imagined. Difficult health problems plagued me for a good portion of the year, and the unexpected loss of my job in May has made the second half of the year challenging. But God. Because of my newfound diligence in studying God’s word and getting to know Him better, I not only believe in His promises for me – I KNOW they are true, and I have been living in the peace that knowledge brings while the storm rages around me.
While I’m still in a season of waiting, I also see it as a time of preparation. I’m finally understanding how to pray and the power in that discipline. God has given me eyes to see and understand things in scripture that always seemed impossible to grasp. And He has given me purpose in this season so that when the “what’s next” arrives, I will be ready.
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