People have often told me that I have a great memory. I can remember some things others can’t. Like the fact that when we were kids, my grandmother’s friend Norma, used to stab us with safety pins when we didn’t listen. I remember hiding behind the bed one day, because I knew she was going to get her key ring that had a bunch of safety pins attached to it. Great punishment right? My parents don’t remember that, I do, and so does my cousin.
I remember when my dad tipped over in a canoe when we were on vacation in Maine, and I probably remember this because I had a fear that he would drown, even though he was a good swimmer.
A lot of the things that I remember have to do with something that caused fear, or pain. And the things that have caused or cause fear, or pain, often cloud the things that I should remember… and there are a lot of things that I then forget.
The town I live in has this new law that stores can’t use plastic bags anymore for what you buy, and if you want a paper bag, you need to pay for it (it is only 10 cents, but still). And for the second time this week I forgot my reusable bags at home. Not a huge deal. But really annoying, because you either have to pay the 10 cents per bag, or struggle to carry each item that you buy.
I also forget like all the time where I put my keys, and leave them in places you should never leave your keys. And I am a professional at forgetting where I put my debit card!
And then the more important things that I forget…
I forget that He is faithful, His hope doesn’t disappoint, and He is God. And I forget that He is not on the same playing field as the enemy. No, the enemy is on HIS playing field, and the enemy is on the loosing team. But I don’t always remember that.
I get so caught up in, well, everything but Him, and I forget what is true. And then fear and anxiety set in, and my peace gets overshadowed by doubt.
Sound familiar to anyone?
I was sharing briefly with someone the other day that I had hesitation about sending my son to school this Fall, because of some (what I thought were) unresolved things from my past. I shared how God had worked it all out, and she responded And see, there was never a reason to worry.
But see, I can think of a million reasons to worry. I can think of a million reasons to consider that He is not faithful, that His hope will indeed disappoint, and that He won’t work it all out for my good at all.
The other day I said this to my friend, and it is going to sound worse than I meant it. From the outside, God probably doesn’t look very “all-powerful”, or “faithful” right now.
It probably looks like Jesus looked after He had died on the cross. Weak and powerless. The government had won. It was their victory. The “Son of God” had been defeated, and His followers probably looked like fools.
And I guess that was the point. Make them look weak, and the government look strong. And that has always been one of Satan’s tactic. Getting you to question the sovereignty and authority of God.
But then I remember these truths that remind me again who my God is.
So what truths do I forget to remember?
That hope that is seen is not hope at all. This verse from Romans 8:24, is one that I stumbled upon recently, and it caught me by surprise, but also has stayed with me since I read it. I so badly want a hope that I can see, that I can put my hands on. I want to know what tomorrow holds, but that isn’t really how this faith thing operates. It never has been.
And just as this verse took me by surprise, so does God. How many times have I worried about things when God has asked me to trust Him? Only to look back and realize that He had it all worked out from the beginning, and I only needed to just believe.
That He is faithful. My lack of faith will never change who He is, because even when I am faithless, He remains faithful. My doubts will never change His character, and my fears will never make Him less God. And my failure to remember who He is, everyday, will only hinder me from seeing and knowing that He is who He says He is.
At the end of my life, when every knee is bowed, I want to be there with my face down in worship because I believed He was who He said He was. And I want to live my life everyday like that, but so many times I don’t.
As I said above, I told my friend that from the outside my God didn’t look very all-powerful, or faithful right now. And wouldn’t you believe that God heard me say that? I mean of course He did, He is God. But the next day He made sure I knew He was there.
Some of you know that I love rainbows. To the point that I know the best weather for them to appear, and will always look for them during those times.
So the next morning, I brought Olivia to school, and wouldn’t you know there was a faint rainbow above her school. I bet a lot of people didn’t see it, but I did. And 10 minutes later as I was driving home, the sun came out, and I pulled into a parking lot wondering if there would be another one, and there it was. Bright, and bold.
After it vanished, I went home, and was cleaning Olivia’s room, only to gaze out the window to see another bright bow, placed in the sky above my neighbors house.
3. Okay God, I see what you are doing here.
And 20 minutes later would you believe me if I told you there was a 4th?
To me this was Him saying to me I see you, and I want you to see Me.
This is my hope…
At the end of it all, I want to stand there and say The Lord is the Lord, and His hope never did disappoint. I want to stand there and say I believed You. And I want you to stand before Him, and be moved to say the same exact thing.
I know that He sees you, and I want you to see Him.