Sometimes in our lives, things seem perfect. Everything that you had hoped or could dream is right before you in a beautiful package and you think it is God’s gift for you… until God says “not yet”. As we lay in bed on Thursday night, I started to get increasingly bad contractions that were beginning to be in a pattern. So we followed our plan for when I went into labor and it went perfectly! Not only was my favorite doctor on call that night, but when we got to the hospital I saw my favorite mom and baby nurse that had taken care of me when I had Charlie, and then we found out that the nurse who had delivered Charlie, who we loved, was there as well. My thoughts revolved around how blessed we were that God would give us the most perfect team to be there when I delivered Olivia. But then after my contractions were monitored and I was checked it became evident that I wasn’t in labor. My contractions spaced out and lessened in intensity and I was sent home. God had said “not yet”.
Isn’t that life for you? You are so close to tomorrow and your dreams coming true, and then God says “not yet”. You interview for a job that you seem to be a perfect fit perfect for, and God says “I have something else”. You meet a guy that fits everything you have always wanted, and God says “not this one”. You get so close to your dreams of being a missionary, and God says “not yet”. The feeling of “not yet”, or “I have something else”, or “not this one” can be frustrating especially when you believe that this was what you had prayed for.
Now I didn’t pray for those nurses to be there on Thursday, but as I said earlier it felt like a gift from God that they would be there when I delivered Olivia. Although I wasn’t devastated that we didn’t get to meet Olivia face to face on Thursday, it felt like a bit of a letdown.
Even though it felt like a bit of a letdown, one thing that we learned when we delivered Charlie was that God’s plans are always better than ours. When I pregnant with him I always prayed that we would have a doctor that I was familiar with to be on call when we had him and that it would be a woman. But wouldn’t you know, we had one of the doctors that I had never seen before who was a guy. When I found out it was him, I felt a bit letdown as well. But I will tell you that when I was in the middle of labor, and he was telling us that he didn’t have time to explain what was going on but was asking us to give him permission to do a half vacuum birth because he saw things that he was not comfortable with, all those cares went right out the window! God didn’t answer that prayer, but He answered another prayer and our deeper desire… that was our son being born healthy.
He is asking “Do you trust me?”
After Charlie was born the doctor thanked us for trusting him, and explained what was happening that caused him to ask us to trust him. We learned that when God doesn’t give us what we think we want even when it seems perfect, it is not because He is withholding anything from us, it is because like the doctor He knows what is best for us.
Sometimes instead of saying “not yet”, He will say “trust me”. He says “trust me” because He knows what we need, opposed to what we think we need. He says trust me because His ways are better than our ways. He says “trust me” because He works for the good of those who love Him.
So we wait, knowing that we know that we know that we know that God has the perfect time for her to be born and the perfect team to be there as we deliver.
He is asking “do you trust me?” How are you responding?