What lead a grown man to sob uncontrollably in my arms, while saying over and over I want my mommy, I want my mommy? Forgiveness. I met him in Rwanda and walked him through forgiving his mother for leaving him and his siblings in the genocide for her own safety. Years he had held on to the pain, but he was in a place where he wanted to forgive her, and try to reconcile with her as well. Before we get there though...there is something else we need to address.
Which is harder, to say "your sins are forgiven?" or "get up and walk?" Can I take a moment and answer that? The forgiveness of sins part has definitely got to be harder. Like by a long shot. And I say this because I will tell people all day to have faith that to do what Jesus says, but for me forgiveness is not as easy as telling people to "just have faith" that what He says is true. Following Christ isn't easy my friends. And this is one of those acts of obedience that I can easily forget about, until I am confronted by the truth. And that is what happened Saturday morning, when someone called me out on it. The truth felt like a truck hit me. I was holding onto hurt from 20 years ago. 2 decades is a long time to hold unforgiveness, and carry it in your heart. But that is what happened, for more than half my life.
My daughter is fearless. She is 2 and a 1/2 this year and has been loving being in pools this summer. She has loved it so much that she has taken a love to jumping into the pool (sometimes off the diving board...yes all with a puddle jumper). She will jump when we are there right next to her, and she will jump when we are not, almost like she doesn't know the danger of the water. And this can leave me thinking "Can't you have a little fear? Just a little? Just enough to know that there are dangers in the world, like that this water can hurt you...kill you?"
We were criticized again for that decision, “well it doesn’t seem that great now either”. And sometimes God’s best doesn’t look that great, because we live in a culture that is focused on numbers, instant gratification, and wanting what is easy, and on top of that the American dream is about the pursuit of happiness, and not obedience to Christ. And in a way that was what we were faced with. Do what would secure his job? Or trust that He had a plan, and that this was really His best for us, as we had at first believed?
My husband and I are very prayerful when making decisions, especially when it comes to our children, so praying for the schools our children go to is no exception. When looking for a school for Charlie, we reached out to 10 schools in our town, and not one of them got back to us. I am telling you, not even a "we are full, want to be put on a waiting list?". I didn't think finding a place for my 3 year old to attend school would be so hard. But He did open up one door for him, and it was a place that we have loved from the beginning. And today the truth that is radiating my soul is that He is faithful.
Quick question. What are the two words that you would never want to see next to each other in the Bible? Take a minute to think about that. I am not sure how I would have answered that a few days ago, but one of the words that I don't want to see is a word that I won't pray for. And the second word is something that I prayed for a little over a year ago, and then asked "Why". Find out what those two words are by reading this week's post.
You're a good person. These were words said to me recently after I offered to do something for a friend, that most people wouldn't offer to do. What I offered to do fell through, for reasons out of my control. But these are words a Christ follower hate to hear, because if you are a … Continue reading The Story Of The Deer: Because He Came
I needed a new photo. I had changed my hair color since we last took blog photos, and I wanted a photo that currently looked like me. The photo was for a bio for an online conference I am participating in and it was important to me that my bio photo look like the person … Continue reading The Best Kind Of Fashion
Be obedient. I’ll never forget the words as they were said to me, or the person who said them. They are words that have stuck with me. And obedience has pretty much been so simple for me. God leads, I follow. He says come, I’ll say how fast? It’s usually that simple for me. There … Continue reading The Path Set Before You
The dreams began to happen again. Years ago it was people trying to attack my son. But over the past two nights it was people coming to try to kill me. In my dreams I went to hide, to protect myself from the attacks. I needed to get anywhere that I would be safe in … Continue reading The Story Of The Sunflower In The Storm