Although Charlie will be going to school through most of the summer, today he graduated pre-school. So many emotions surround today. Pride, joy, but there is another truth that outshines these feelings.
I have written before about what Charlie teaches me about God, and today the truth that is radiating my soul is that He is faithful.
My husband and I are very prayerful when making decisions, especially when it comes to our children, so praying for the schools our children go to is no exception. When looking for a school for Charlie, we reached out to 10 schools in our town, and not one of them got back to us. I am telling you, not even a “we are full, want to be put on a waiting list?”.
I didn’t think finding a place for my 3 year old to attend school would be so hard. But He did open up one door for him, and it was a place that we have loved from the beginning.
We knew someone who had a pre-school near my husband’s job, and reached out. Within 24 hours we had a tour and had signed him up to attend that Fall.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. Isaiah 55:8
Once the first year ended, we tried to get him again to go to school in our town, because we thought it was best for him to be closer to home, but again God didn’t open a door for that to happen.
However at the beginning on that school year my husband found out that his job was going to transfer him to a store much closer to home. He was given a 2-day notice. Usually being transferred closer to home would seem like a good thing, but that would make it impossible for us to keep Charlie at the school that we all loved.
In an already tough season of faith, this was it. This was the icing on my cake called “uncertainty”. Why God? Why would He put Charlie at a school, knowing that we would have to pull him out of it, and find a place with in a couple days (impossible)? Why do you have us here?
I was angry. I was sad. And I cried a lot.
But He did what only He could do. He interfered in the affairs of man, to get my husband into a store where we could keep our son at his school. I never needed to be angry, or sad, or doubtful. What I needed was to just believe, and just have faith in where He had led our family, because He intervened, just like He does.
“Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?”
I have to tell you something. God never tells us He will give us all the answers. He doesn’t. And I am sorry to be the one to tell you that instead of giving us all the answers, He tells us two simple words.
What happened was impossible. But God makes the impossible reality, and today he graduated from that school. And side note, his graduation was at an old train station (and if you know my son…that means he was in HEAVEN!)
My friends, this story holds a reflection of a bigger story. And it is the story of His faithfulness.
Right before Charlie was to begin pre-school, my husband and I went to Puerto Rico to celebrate our 5-year anniversary. However, our relaxing vacation got invaded by a category 5 hurricane named Maria.
God gave us so much peace during the storm, and took care of every detail in keeping us safe. and getting us home safely. Seeing Him work so mightily on our behalf made me tell God that I wanted to walk through life like we walked through the hurricane. With unwavering faith, and unafraid.
I am not sure what I expected when I said that, but I definitely didn’t expect what came next. I didn’t expect my passions to conflict with my reality to the point of holy discomfort. I didn’t expect to tell God that I would risk anything to follow Him, only to have Him ask me to step out of the boat in faith. And I didn’t expect that boat to be the job that I “needed” so we could provide for our family.
I will not sacrifice to the LORD my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing.
2 Samuel 24:24
But that was what happened. I left the job I thought I needed to follow Him. I felt like a crazy person for ever thinking this, let alone actually doing it. And I was called stupid. And the uncertainty of how we would financially make it was really hard. And of course our finances were attacked because that is what would have stopped me from taking the leap of faith in the first place. So of course that is what would make me question a decision made in faith (that is how the enemy works my friend, his games don’t change).
Health and car issues leading to bills piled up as quickly as our fears did. And then there were the questions from people who didn’t understand, that was coupled with the tone of wondering when I would realize that I made a mistake and run back to my boat called “safety”.
But most of those storms would have come anyway, and we would have financially sailed through it, but along with it would have been a different kind of storm. The storm of the discomfort that would come with not trusting Him. And that would have been harder than any of the faith struggles that we have walked through.
He makes the impossible reality.
Remember what happened to Peter after He denied Jesus 3 times? He bitterly wept in the deep grief. I know our lack of faith, our disbelief, and not following where He leads would do the same thing to us. It would grieve us to the point of bitterly weeping out of deep sorrow.
I can’t say I walked through life like we walked through the hurricane. I have struggled more with my faith more than I ever have. Did I make the right decision? Was He leading me somewhere safe, if for so long I felt like I was sinking? Would there ever be a light at the end of the tunnel?
Yes, Charlie’s graduation symbolizes a much bigger story. That we made it. We followed, and He provided. I can look into His eyes and confidently say I believed You. And it was hard, and it stretched my faith, but in the end it strengthened my faith.
Yes, He is exactly who He says He is. And you can trust that, because He is God.
He makes the impossible reality. And one day, if you step out of the boat in faith when He says Come, trusting He is who He says He is, you will look Him in the eye, and as well say I believed You.