When I was about 28 or so weeks pregnant, as I was on my way to a doctors appointment for what was probably my 10th ultra sound I heard God whisper No matter what happens, everything will be okay. I have heard God whisper that to me before and it is always before something bad happens. As I watch the screen as the lady was doing my ultra sound I saw the numbers, and I knew the numbers were bad. I didn’t have to wait for the doctor to tell me that my cervix was shortening again, which meant the risk of preterm labor. I knew what was coming, I had gone through it when I was pregnant with Charlie. Being hooked up to a machine in the labor and delivery room to ensure that I wasn’t having contractions, getting steroid shots to help the Olivia’s chance of survival in case I did deliver early, and of course the restrictions. I wasn’t upset, I wasn’t stressed… I just kept thinking again? I didn’t expect the restrictions to be stricter this time either, but they were. No lifting. No dishes. No laundry. Working 50% of my time at home. Those restrictions were hard to get my head around especially with having a toddler.
“She will be loved and in good hands. The Fathers hands, and yours.”
I can’t exactly say I was great with the restrictions, but I did the best I could regarding different circumstances. Another thing I didn’t do great at was “enjoying today”. I couldn’t wait until tomorrow came, and next week came, and 8 weeks came when I would be considered full term. Just let me get through until week 36. I wouldn’t say that this was something that was consuming (except the week or two I was dealing with a bronchial infection) but the desire to just get through the pregnancy was there. Last weekend marked me entering week 36 of pregnancy, and as the week approached it was a time that brought great relief. In a way I felt like I could finally stop holding my breathe. It was also a time when reality hit. I looked back and thought how I had missed a lot of “today’s”. Of course I wanted to get through my pregnancy, so that I could know everything was okay, and so that Olivia would be here with us healthy and thriving, but I had missed REALLY enjoying the baby kicks, and the anticipation of Olivia coming because I just needed to get through these weeks so I could know my baby was safe.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
I have been thinking about Paul this week, and what he did with his time while in prison. He made the most of each day by writing letter to churches, preaching the Gospel to those who would listen, he learned to be content in all circumstances, and he took the time he was given to advance the Kingdom with the opportunities given to him. He also prayed and sang praises to God. Now, I don’t feel like I have been in prison, but I know that times of waiting leave us greatly anticipating and longing for the waiting to be over.
Over the past couple weeks my focus has shifted more. Instead of focusing so much on getting through the pregnancy, I have tried to focus more on today and the here and now. I have done my best to take the opportunities God has put in front of me because I want to make the most of what He has for me. We have celebrated Olivia’s life. I have taken more time to pray for friends. I have more enjoyed the baby kicks, because this will be the only time that I will get to carry her so closely. I have more so enjoyed my time with Charlie because soon he will not be the only child.
Some of us, lets be honest, most of us can go through our days like this at different times in our lives. We get caught up in waiting for the next thing to come, for our struggles to end, for things to slow down, or for God’s promises to come to fruition. We get so caught up that we miss today. We get so caught up in what we are waiting for or what we don’t have that we miss the blessing and opportunities of what God has for us today. The blessings may be your baby kicking, your child’s laugh, an unexpected phone call from a friend, a beautiful sunset, a warm meal, the beauty of Fall, the listening ear of a friend, the support of loved ones, or maybe the promise that in all things God works for the good of those that love Him.
What have you been missing? Take this time to decide to not miss anymore today’s.
God, I have been missing so much of what you have for me, and I don’t want to miss anymore. Help me to not take anything for granted and help me to enjoy the little blessings of everyday. Help me to make the most of the time that I have been given, and go after the opportunities that you have before me. Help me to live more for you each day. Amen.